I think (and fucking pray) I’m not the only one who has self-defeating patterns. As mine play out, they increase my inner sense of self-loathing and defeat. An example of this would be smoking (I’m not a smoker btw) as most people don’t want to smoke and will often feel shit for smoking and will escape this shit feeling my smoking more and so it goes on and on.
The vices are all like this I suppose – drugs, gambling, hookers and porn. Are they all the vices? A vice is something that is immoral or evil so on that basis the list is endless. Religion should be on the list for definite, so should bad shoes, Postman fuckin Pat and twatty sales-people who want to push shit on you for heir own means. These are all evil and immoral. As well as being vices, the standard ones (drugs, booze etc) are also fun. By virtue of the man in the sky, being a good person renders you to an eternity in heaven but you’re not allowed to do these fun things – this is not my idea of heaven. If you snuck booze and hookers into heaven, would you be evicted??
Anyhoo, we digress. Self-defeating patterns! One of mine is alcohol related. I love alcohol. I like the taste, the elements of drinking culture, being in pubs, feeling pissed and how booze can affect my behaviours. I tend not to get bad hangovers so I do not feel ill that often either which is fab in one way but is also a massive enabler to drink too much. I can convince myself that there’s no real negative consequences as I can still function ok (I function ok, but not necessarily well).
So here’s the pattern. I like to feel good and have fun. Alcohol helps with that whether I’m with my partner or friends. We drink, chat and laugh. Without alcohol, things don’t flow so well and I feel a bit anxious or stunted. Once I feel something, the slightest bit of merriment which may not even consciously, I then binge! I then want to feel pissed so start to drink more and more to chase it until I feel pissed. I’m probably talking shit and mis-interpreting stuff massively at this point which can be fun as we laugh more or I feel loved or I’m more loving. The opposite is also true at times – I can feel hurt more easily making me defensive so arguments can arise out of anywhere.
Next day there’s always consequences probably (?), where I’ll feel more tired because of the alcohol and because I probably stayed up later. I’m then more prone to feeling low and anxious and lack the sharp clarity of thoughts I may usually have. My very being is suppressed. I then feel guilt and shit about this making me want to drink more so then begin to plan the next binge. And so it goes on and on.
Being the logical being that I am, I’m also aware of a healthier pattern. That would be the ‘not getting pissed’ pattern. This would involve still doing everything I do, but just not getting pissed. The benefits outweigh the costs. I’ll be fitter, healthier, weigh less, feel better about myself, be less guilty, feel sharper, more energised and generally all round better. It’s a no-brainer and I’ve known this for fucking years but nothing changes.
So why do I repeat this? Feeling fresh and good when I wake on a Saturday would be fab. But getting pissed, dancing, laughing, pissing about and staying up late at the time makes me feel alive and that feels great. My frustration here is that maybe it feels more unbalanced that it did before. I shall muse on this, may feel uneasy about it so will get pissed to escape the feelings of discomfort.
