Being40 – The frustrations of an overthinker

Why do lots of people my age where dull coats and jackets that look like they’ve been brought in a 1970’s camping shop? I was with my eldest son at a Scouts activity day a few weeks ago and all the other parents were wearing North Face shit or the Millets equivalent. I’m disappointed in their lack of humanity and creativity. North Face are either laughing their arses off at how they’ve made so many people buy their shit or they need shooting for crimes against humanity.

People in their 30’s and 40’s tend to spend a bit of time and energy on their shirts and tops. It’s the usual mis-informed shit of Superdry and Under Armour which makes them feel cool when really, we all think they look like twats but at least they show effort. You can respect that! But then, the dullest, shittest coat is sported on top.

Am I missing something? Am I an insufferable cock for not dulling myself down? Does everyone else dull themselves to fade into the background to allow their children to shine then look at me like I’m some horrifically self-centred twat? Is their lack of effort just a reflection of being exhausted from balancing home, kids and work?

I think we should create a study to explore this further. Firstly, we should create a questionnaire to ask the guilty about what the fuck they’re doing, but obviously use kinder words so not to create a defensive response. I’ve drafted a few q’s –

1 – Do you wear a shit coat because you want to hide your embarrassing Superdry top from the world?

2 – Is your choice of coat linked to (tick all that may apply) –

You wish to repel your partner as your relationship has fizzled out and you dare not end it directly
You just don’t give a shit about how you look
You’re not that bothered about how you look
You’re not that bothered about what others think of you
You like to blend into the background
You delusionally think North Face and similar styled coats are actually quite cool
As a Coldplay fan, you seek to do as much to replicate being a soppy twat like Chris Martin
You have low self esteem and this is a way to covertly feel shit

3 – How much does age contribute to your shit choice of outerwear?

4 – How much thought did you put into your choice of outer wear?

5 – Is your answer to question 4 a lie? (really?)

6 – How often do you shop for coats while wearing a blindfold?

The 2^nd arm of the study is to create 2 groups of people who wear this sort of shit. The first group will do nothing and the 2^nd group will be given a supply of stimulants to (cocaine and ecstasy comes to mind). We’ll then assess the changes to the group who had the drugs compared to the control group to see if adding fun to their lives changes their dull exteriors.

The more I think about it the more confused and upset I become. I need to separate myself from the trauma of this as in reality, it’s just the most minute part of life. I’m no coat-nazi, well, I don’t want to be as I’m sure there’s better things I can focus my noodle on? I’m not sure what at the moment though. As the thoughts begin to dwell, I can feel the initial brewing of anger. I need to stop myself as ‘I set fire to him because he had a shit coat’ would not stand up so well in court.

Being in your 40’s is fucking hard; soul-destroying at times and my rejection of the acceptance of normality fuels massive frustration. Do I have to accept being average and being fucking normal; To just be like everyone else?? I didn’t aspire to be fucking average when I was younger. I rejected that whole notion of conformity and wanted to be my authentic and unique self, however, on reflection, I conformed to the norms with my peers.

I still harbour the want for more – this is an undefined more it’s not even illogical fantasies of being famous or hugely rich that plaque my mind. When I really consider it, the community of the rich and famous is largely a bunch of fucked up twats who feel inadequate and seek more fame and fortune to feel better. Their lives are littered with shit relationships, unhappiness and addiction. Maybe I could do it for a year of that though then get out. Reflecting on it, I think I could do it for a week as being around these fake, narcissistic twats who would annoy the fuck out of me.

Maybe it’s time to embrace where I am in life and who I am. To accept life as it is and to love it because generally it is fuckin great. My frustration is injected with rocket fuel at the thought of ‘I should be doing something better’. I have no idea what the ‘better’ is btw and when it all gets too much there’s alcohol to distract me followed by guilt and self-loathing for getting pissed once again. La la la. I imagine our creator is laughing his ass off at the how his planet has morphed into this chaotic pandemonium of overthinking twats.