I’m very aware that my children will develop into teenagers and as wonderful as this progression will be, it is likely to accompanied with them being arseholes to me. I can appreciate why this happens. As children turn into teens, it’s not just that they become precocious wankers, they need to find themselves. Adolescence is about forming our identity and as part of that, unconsciously, the teen realises that people their own age will be around longer than their parents so they become more important. They identify with others their own age more and parents are just old twats who know nothing. I can accept this change and this split. What I can’t fuckin accept is how they’re likely to go about it. With their moany, mumbling ‘you’re a twat’ attitude, it’s just fucking offensive.
So, to ease my future anger and frustration, I should maybe pay it forward; do some shit to the soon-to-be-twats as punishments and retribution for what they’re likely to do. I’m not into open pain and punishment as that creates guilt and I try to avoid that shit – guilt is horrible; why create the shit. So, funny, piss-taking stuff has to be the way forward. Humour defuses everything and dissolves guilt too – remember that – Humour dissolves guilt. Anyhoo, so I’m thinking of ideas. Firstly, my eldest starts secondary school in September which presents great opportunities and my greatest weapon is embarrassment. Someone I know used to pick up his daughter dressed as an out and out chav which she hated and got the reaction he was looking for. My idea, is to nurture the ‘fact’ that on his first day, everyone is to be dressed as a clown and the top 10 clowns will get house points/treats for the class or some other reward that could make him popular with others. I’ll probably fake a few school headed letters and take lots of pics. That’s assignment 1 of many. It’s important to be realistic and not let this be damaging, but saying that, if it’s fucking funny….?!!
The frustrations of an overthinker 